He smiled, “Okay, but I guarantee you it’s not as exciting as yours, I’ve never been anywhere except Bluewater Village.”
Cheyenne laughed, “Now that’s an understatement, you’ve been farther than anyone else in the history of the world that I know of.”“Okay, I guess the past three days have made my otherwise very boring life exciting. Where to start?”
“’Begin at the beginning, and go on til you come to the end; then stop.’”“Ah, Alice in Wonderland,” he said with a smile. “’The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things:…’”
“’Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax. Of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot. And whether pigs have wings.’" She finished, laughing.
“I’m glad some things haven’t changed,” he said.
“Good literature will never change.”
“About me, well, I was born in 1855.”“Wow, does that make you sound really, really old,” she said laughing.
“I am old, my dear, apparently very old.” He answered smiling.“I sure hope I look as great as you do when I’m really, really old,” she commented still laughing.
He chuckled before continuing in a teasing tone, “Enough. Do you want to hear about me or not?”She smiled at him. “I want to hear, really.”
“My father is or rather was a gardener and my mother a cook for the Hucksingers. Did you know that the Hucksingers lived in the house for several generations, and my family served them from one generation to the next from the beginning?”To his surprise she only shook her head making no further comment and so he continued, “I have four sisters, all servants themselves. Three are married, the youngest, just twenty had only recently gone into service in a household of a friend of Mr. Hucksinger when I left.”
Jonas stopped and regarded Cheyenne. How much of his life did she want to know, and how much did he want to share? That was easy, if he stayed here, he wanted her to know everything. Even if he didn’t stay, he still wanted her to know. So he did his best to put the pain in its hiding place and continued.“I was married, briefly, in my twenties. A beautiful woman who was apprentice to my mother as cook to the Hucksingers. She died a year after our marriage giving birth to my son, who also died within days of coming into the world three weeks before his time.” His voice broke and he cleared it before he continued, looking away from her out to sea. He watched the waves for a moment, before he felt he could continue.
“I didn’t remarry, I couldn’t do it again. The pain was too much to bear. I tried to bury it with their bodies, but I've never succeeded. My son, Joshua, had his mother’s beautiful green eyes.” He realized he wasn’t talking to Cheyenne anymore, he was actually facing what he’d kept hidden from the light for years. Suddenly, he realized that perhaps the pain could heal with time, if only he just stopped ignoring it.
“I’m so sorry,” Cheyenne said, her quiet voice breaking into his thoughts. He looked at her and felt the pain lifting even further, easing even more. He wanted to tell her that her presence made the pain less, but didn’t know how. She was right, they had no idea if he would leave or when. For both their sakes, the relationship could go no further. No matter how much he wanted her.
He forced a smile and continued his tale, “So each day passed much like the last. I dug dirt and planted flowers and made sure Mr. Hucksinger’s garden was as well ordered and neat as his life and home. I made sure the attorney’s lawn was as strict and well mannered as his law practice. It would’ve disgraced him if there was so much as a blade of grass out of place.”Cheyenne must have seen the change in him and decided that it was for the best. She chuckled, although it was strained, and said, “Wow, okay, you win, your life was definitely more boring than mine.”
In one of her abrupt moves that tended to leave him feeling a step behind, she stood. “Let’s swim.”Before he could answer, she’d stripped down to her swimsuit and was walking toward the water.
He stood more slowly. Yes, they were here to celebrate the day and have a good time.
As long as he was here, he would put the past where it belonged, and enjoy every day he had with the beautiful Cheyenne Cole.Chapter Eleven
8 comments:
Hehe, that swimsuit sure put a smile on his face. Maybe he should visit a topless beach, LOL!
It was good to get more information on him. I don't think the update dragged, it was just the right length.
LOL, Mao! Okay, I didn't even think of that. Good thing it was a modest swimsuit. :D
Thank you. I'm used to having 80,000 words to get story points across, not 20,000. I'm still unsure how much to put in one place. :\
First, I think the length definitely works for you. It's like brief bright snapshots. Plus I really like the way you stick to dialogue without using a lot of description. The shots are beautiful.
enough. so Jonas was married and his wife died -- not uncommon but absolutely tragic. Something Cheyenne needs to consider.
I thought his eyes would pop out when she got into her (modest) swimsuit LOL!
S.B.
Thanks, I think the length works, too, now that it's written. But I'd never written a short story before. :)
I really do try to follow, show don't tell, but sometimes exposition just has be done. I also find myself pulling out descriptive writing because the pictures do it for me. I love the medium of illustrated stories. I spent a lot of years reading Batman comics. :)
There are just so many reasons why Jonas would be better in the present, swimsuit included. :)
They both *know* it would be better to remain friends. The question is, will they be able to stop themselves from becoming more to each other. Emotions tend to have a bad habit of going places you'd rather they didn't. :P
And I agree with the others - the length was perfect. You've adapted to the Sims medium much better than I! I know I still tend to write/describe too much. Oh well.
You know, Saoz, then there's the fact that Jonas doesn't really know anyone else in this strange land. Could that be the reason he might love her? Just throwing out a random thought that just occurred to me. :D
Thank you. As I said, 15 (recent) years of Batman comics to the rescue. :) Also, I'm a visual artist as well as a writer, so that probably helps some, too.
Wow, poor Jonas. Bottling up the past is never a good thing. At least if they can't be together, I think Cheyenne will have made a great impact on his life and given him hope.
I think no matter what happens, they'll both learn to love again one way or the other. :D They needed to meet and learn from each other, time, at least, gives them that.
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